In order to fulfill the capstone course requirement, each of our projects had to have an "About Me" page. What to put on an About Me page to a website already about me? Why, only other people's words of course! To do so, I solicited anonymous testimonials from the people in my life via this Google Form.
Feel free to submit your own if you so choose!
“Truly an enigma. Atticus has one foot in chaos and the other firmly planted in order– a feat that few can accomplish, let alone sustain. I cannot comprehend this, so instead I admire it and hope to emulate it.” [April 2024]
“You are one of my dearest friends and I appreciate you endlessly. I’ve never met someone so clever, witty, thoughtful, and energetic about learning and analysis. You’re such an idea man, it’s crazy. I feel honored when you show me sneak peeks of the process of ideas, bakes, artworks, and projects you’re in the middle of because they’re all so brilliant and thought out. You bring such care to all of your work, and I think that’s clear to anyone who encounters it. I hope you’re in my life forever, and I’m grateful I met you. You’re super fucking cool.” [April 2024]
“Hmm…a more formal Atticus bio…”Atticus is just a cool sleep-deprived dude that likes horrifying things. Probably has had sexual relations with Mothman. Expert dessert maker. I find out Atticus has a new job/project like once a week and I’m like wtf dude, that’s crazy but also cool but also how are you doing so much! I did not realize you were writing a whole memoir on top of everything! I feel more productive and motivated just by knowing him because I get inspired to actually work on my own stuff. I think my crafting and baking great grandma would have loved to meet him (RIP).” [April 2024]
“I’d say you’re pretty rad, definitely gets very involved in most projects. They really like horror with symbolism and I could never catch it all. You also deal with my [special interest] which is radical dude. For your about me section you should just put “I’m a totally tubular visionary cool dude with a radical skedaddle style.” [April 2024]
“hi i think atticus is pretty cool i guess…he inspires me every day or whatever…has a seemingly infinite capacity for growth and development and is a bit of a yappologist (non derogatory)...is oh so helpful and always encouraging and has an amazing drive for communication and learning…literally such a bad bitch but bad bitches need sleep too…i am very happy he is in my life” [April 2024]
“Atticus is a very intelligent, hardworking and loving person. They’re fun to be around and have witty jokes. Their butterfly knife tricks are scary cool as well. Artsy AF! Swaggy tats. Extensive vocabulary. Well rounded person. Cool. Ass. Motherfucker. I miss you, fugly slut!” [April 2024]
“Oh, I’m absolutely outing myself as a respondent here, but it’s been an absolute joy to work with you, Atticus. You’ve got that intense curiosity of us neuroqueer people, and I can speak from experience when I say that it is absolutely a powerful tool that will serve you well. I really appreciate your willingness to try things that are a little unorthodox, and it seems like you frequently take the opportunity to be bold in your pursuits. You’re adaptive and flexible, which has allowed you to make the best of the situations that you find yourself in. Not to prgnosicate t much, but I see absolute potential in your RE: continued scholarly pursuits. I think there are things you’ll absolutely struggle with (as did I) but I think you’ve got the drive and the curiosity to make it in graduate studies, assuming you continue wanting it. Also you’re just, like, a very kind and sincere person. Those qualities are rare. Don’t let life snuff those things out; it happens to far too many of us. You’re a great student, despite sometimes needing a light prodding when it comes to deadlines. You’re going to go as far as you allow yourself to go.” [April 2024]
“Atticus, we have been through a lot together at [redacted]. Through it all, the highs and the lows, you have always focused on valuing your integral self– being YOU to evaporate the surrounding evil is your way of raging against the dying of the night. You’ve taught me the importance of integrity when I thought I was the shit, you’ve saved me on nights where I [got too intoxicated and sick as a result]. I’m so grateful to have you in my life, and I’ll be in your corner for as long as you’ll have me. There’s not many people out there who can see me the way you do, and I hope to be able to do the same for you. I love hearing your thoughts– your long-form rambling is like an irl video essay in the best way because it cuts the bullshit and hits me with straight knowledge instead. You always leave room for understanding sides, and your ability and willingness to communicate has grown so much in the time I’ve gotten to know you. Thank you so much for loving the way you do– it’s quite a beautiful thing. By loving, I mean your humanistic outlook on the world, the empathy you bring to difficult situations, and of course the tenderness you bring to your loved ones. I can’t wait to see you spread your wings and truly take off in whatever direction you so please– I know you can keep going on your adventure of kicking ass, taking names, and killing Michael Myers. You are one of the most ambitious, bright, and loving people I have had the pleasure of knowing, and I really hope to be a part of your support network whenever the world starts closing in. If nothing else, I’ll hold your hoops for you, anytime.” [April 2024]
“Atticus is one of the most generous people I know. With his thoughts, his time, his advice, his love for people, his love for media, his love for conveying ideas and information and concepts, his love for teaching others. The way that he wants to see how you see the world is so beautiful, as is the way that he wants you to see his perspective. The way that he sees the world and is also able to paint it so clearly for others, the way he can communicate what he sees and how he feels in ways that are digestible and relatable to whatever audience he is speaking to is truly inspiring. It is an absolute joy and privilege to witness this person communicate with the folks around them, even though he is just being himself. I absolutely adore you Atticus, I am so blessed to have been able to even fitness you as a person but also to be able to love you. You are such a special human being and you are going to go places and teach people and bring ideas about that haven’t been thought of, bring information to corners that haven’t even thought about such things, and they will also be truly blessed. I love you
“Bro you are literally one of the least self absorbed people I know and you deserve so much love and care. I have so much fucking love and respect for you, you have done so much for the people around you and your capacity for growth and open-mindedness are unparalleled. Your attitude and excitement for life are amazing and unparalleled and intoxicating and contagious (weird sentence eat my shit) and you are constantly inspiring me to do better, and be myself. You have been a constant source of support and encouragement for me and my life and I hope you know none of this is expected. You push yourself so fucking hard and I hope that you are able to find peace and relaxation in wherever your future brings you– like don’t stop but also you derserve the chance to fucking relax. What [Redacted] said is true, I feel you can do anything you set your mind to, and you will go as far as you let yourself. I’m truly blessed that you are a part of my life. You have come so fucking far and I am so proud of you in like a totally non-patronizing way I hope you understand lol– you are fucking incredible” [April 2024]
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-- Addy-cus :: I have ADHD & have taken Adderall
-- Atti-couscous :: I adore couscous, I had never had it until my former partner recommended it to me. They also introduced me to liking tea and kefir.
-- Atticussy :: This feels self-explanatory idk; credit goes to Blakeith, my beloved 💖
-- Atti-Daddy :: This is what my older sister referred to me as the first time she accepted my trans identity and agreed to refer to me by my name.
-- AuDHD-Hackicus :: [more to come, please look forward to future publications with tips and tricks I use to work with my neurotype rather than against it.]
-- Batticus :: I keep a bat in my closet with your name on it, if you were ever thinking about fucking around and finding out.
-- Chaddicus :: sweet lord, someone took a photo of me with a Chad filter on and I can't escape that image lmao
-- Cheficus :: I loveeeee cooking, though I have a lot more experience baking since that's what I was mostly taught as a kid. [Please look forward to future public copies of my go-to recipes.]
-- Katticus :: One of my dearest friend's partner (whom I'm now also friends and roommates with) referred to me by this way before we ever met and talked in person.
-- Liver 'n Onions :: One of my cousins is hilarious and referred to me as this my entire childhood, to my great complaint-- I joke that I transitioned and changed my name solely to get away from this name.
-- Mad Ladicus :: Sweet god in heaven.
-- Manic-cus :: I have a tendency of not sleeping for days, being hyperproductive in hyperfocus, and walking in a cold sweat crazily to Shapiro at three in the morning.
-- Pie-Crusticus :: This is also from my ex; they're a fan of my homemade pie crust recipe, which to be fair, is pretty killer.
-- Raddicus :: Some people say I'm rad.
-- Yappicus :: I LOVE talking so much, these are my favorite topics as of this writing:
-- accessibility in education & language used, (media) literacy,
-- autism and theory of mind, the empathy problem, emotional maturity
-- incelhood, technologically-mediated extremist misogyny, anti-feminist rhetoric
-- tropes, narrative structures, hegemonic discourse around difference and "Others", stigmatization and normalizing discrimination through media,
-- slasher subgenre, horror films (mostly American, I have a huge global blindspot for horror), Final Girlhood,
"You're the best ever!! Have a great summer <3"
"Great getting to know you! Minneapolis -- Chicago"
"You write really good words. I appreciate them."
"Ur lit!"
"Happy writing! (Werewolf)"
"There's nobody else I'd rather go to for help."
"Atticus forever! You are wonder-full!"
"So fun to be in class together! <3"
"Good luck w/ everything <3"
"Good luck with everything you do in the future. Thank you for building community everywhere you go!"
"Good luck with future stuff!"
"Best of luck! You are amazing"
"wishing you the best!!"
"Atticus, you made our class what it was! <3"
"Love what you do :)"
"You just work so goddamn hard." [2024]
"When are you running for office, tbh?" [2024]
"You really are just, yeah-- words are hard. You really be doing the thing." [2024]
"I told my mom about the award you won
and couldn't really describe what it was for
so I just told her, "He's spreading the gay
agenda, but like not in a bad way or
anything?"" [2024]
"You're too beautiful a soul to have people
treating you poorly especially on
purpose." [2024]
"You're kinda like Robin Hood, but like not
bad? Well, he wasn't bad but you know."
[2024]
“As [redacted, author of entry below] says, this is a lovely and heartfelt message. I am sure it was very difficult and painful to write this but it also reflects your intelligence and your skill as a writer. It has been a great privilege to work with you on this project and you should be immensely proud of what you have accomplished with it...Your project is an essential intervention into the scholarship on horror and the present moment of transphobia.” [April 11th, 2024 8:21AM]
“Working with you this year has been a true joy– one of the highlights of my professional career in fact. The work is not done in fact, and I look forward to wrapping it up at the high level together.” [April 10th, 2024 2:37PM]
“I just love how you’re authentically you.” [January 2024]
“It’s so brave to live how you are, it’s really courageous to be authentic.” [2023; a professor, when I was walking out of class– she knew about the trans stuff and was talking about that (I think) but not the autism because at that point, I didn’t know about the autism yet.]
"That is one of the hottest people I've ever fucking seen." [2023; I overhead this walking past a group of standing in a driveway on Vaugh St. I was wearing my sexy Mothman costume because I was on my way to an FTVM Halloween party.]
“I’m a big fan of you and your creativity btw! You are nothing short of amazing. Please keep it up!” [Feb 2nd, 2023]
“You’re the horror queer, right?” [January 2023; someone in an FTVM class upon us introducing ourselves.]
“Congratulations are also in order for Atticus for starting testerone (not testosterone, there’s a difference)!” [Jan 30th, 2023 1:29PM; I began T on January 27th!]
“I LOVE THE NAME ATTICUS! It suits you so well. I’m so proud of you and happy for you!” [June 6th, 2022 6:15PM
“Yeah seeing your Pinterest home page was so funny, like it’s all totally you. It was perfectly dialed in, it was like tattoos and red hair and books, and like “You might have Autism” support pins.” [August 11th, 2021 12:49PM]
“OK, I know you have A LOT on your plate right now, but I remember you’d said you were interested in applying to the Sweetland Minor in Writing, and it seems that they are LOOKING for applicants and have extended the deadline! Let me know if you want me to forward your name, etc, to [redacted], as he suggests below [in a forwarded message]-- you know I would be THRILLED to do so.” [March 15th, 2021 4:10PM]
“This is off-topic but I just wanted to appreciate your writing style really quickly, it has a very nice author's voice and just comes off very…soothing? Like, when I read your writing I get that curled up with a mug of hot cocoa reading a lighthearted novel while it’s raining outside kinda feeling?” [Oct 12th, 2020 10:09PM]
“I really love your whole speech and [the metaphor you built]. I love how you use the personal anecdote about your family and your environment to form this commentary on graduation that is genuinely meaningful instead of just cookie cutter…I couldn’t see anyone in our class with less writing talent than you creating this speech and constructing the sort of narrative/parting wisdom hybrid that you have here.” [June 13th, 2020 4:49PM]
“[Dead name] don’t tell anyone this but you’ve always been my favorite.” [2019]
“Whether you know it or not, you always radiate beauty and love everywhere you go. You always know how to make everyone feel loved.” [2018]
“The world needs a little more Spicer.” [2016; my PE teacher, who is described in my diary as “humble and whose goal in life was to become a special ed teacher for his dead brother. He was a great teacher and is a good man.”]
“Bro not to be rude or anything but you look like a slasher villain.” [February 2023; I had severe anxiety from my undiagnosed autism– I had no way of knowing that my sensory overwhelm and inability to process my environments while doing normal people things, in combination with all of my interpersonal relationships and societal stressors, was for a specific reason. I had started (or relapsed, depending on ur vibes) compulsively, unconsciously picking at my skin and it got infected. I lost most of the skin on my face and a lot of my neck, chest, shoulders, wrists, the backs of my hands, all of both elbows, and specks of my forearms. It was so fucking painful, severe eczema plus stress-induced dermatillomania plus an infection.]
“[Your paper] is just really wordy.” [2021; writing advice I got from a professor whose class I was taking.]
“You’re not liked really because you’re not, like, social, but you’re respected.” [2018; a classmate/casual friend of mine, we had been talking about our perceptions of how social dynamics played out in our high school specifically. I mentioned that I had a really hard time reading how people perceived me writ large/that I’ve been surprised by people’s perceptions of me plenty of times. She said this to describe how she understood our class’s understanding of me (she was significantly more popular and social, always a sweetheart but not as sensitive to injustice as I think would be appropriate for the situations she’d been in.)]
“You gotta calm down, you’re going to give yourself an ulcer.” [2018]
“You’re going to be a doctor or an engineer, your [younger] sister will be the other.” [2014, 2015?]
“Once you get to middle school, you have to 1) have a job, 2) play an instrument, 3) play a sport, 4) do an extracurricular, and 5) be on the honor roll.” [2013]
“You’re too smart for your own good.” [2012]
“[SUCCEED] OUT OF SPITE”
“God grant me patience, God grant me strength, God grant me serenity.”
“That’s between you and God”
“Heal [your inner child]. Avenge [your inner child].”
“Be the person that you needed when you were younger.”
“I have survived worse, you are nothing to me.”
“Hate’s a strong word.”
“Never let yourself become (financially) dependent on a man.”
“Go forth, God bless, goddamn”
“You’re a fucking liar” [April 27th, 2024]
“anxious control freak” [2021]
“🤢 proof god has a sense of humor” [Sept 12th, 2020; commented on a selfie I posted]
“a whole bitch; smug” [2020]
“Yeah sure, you’re not going to make it. I’ll see you back here teaching English in a few years.” [2019; the teacher/advisor with whom I worked closely during all of my time in high school. We were walking out to the parking lot after our club meeting had ended when she asked what I planned to do after graduating. I told her my dream was to be a writer and, in whatever capacity I could swing, make writing my life. I told her: “Just you wait, [redacted]. I’m going to make you eat your words.” I then proceeded to write the equivalent of 20 novels in undergrad because I’m nothing if not a constructively spiteful bitch.]
“Are you happy you’re ruining my fucking life?” [2018]
“You’re so fucking annoying, oh my god.” [2018; someone I was in love with and had started unmasking around– not realizing that was what I was doing exactly. She was extremely stressed out when she said it; her relationship with her mother was killing her and she needed to get a good enough SAT score to earn her freedom and get out of Jackson. I can understand and know now that she was just snapping on me in that moment, but I took her literally; I took her at her word and stopped talking to her. I wanted to stop annoying her and to protect my heart from further pain, if she was someone who actually felt like I was annoying.]
“You’ll be the hundredth bitch I’ll fuck!!” [2016; a man in his 30s, watching me from a lawn chair with a couple other men in the front yard of my next door neighbor’s house. I was walking home from school, carrying fuck tons of stuff like usual (violin, cross country bag, giant backpack, etc). I remember staring back blankly, but my wrld simultaneously dropping out from below me as I willed myself to keep walking. I wondered if it would be too reactive and anger them if I ran the final concrete sidewalk slabs between us and my house. I thought about how if they did leap up out of those cheap folded up seats to grab me when I finally passed, I could just jump into traffic to my right. We lived on one of the busier streets in Jackson; I would definitely get hit, it would definitely cause a scene, and would definitely get other people involved before they could have the chance to take me to a second location.]
“You’re a fucking faggot, aren’t you?” [2015; late eighth grade, a random dude who was getting pissy with his friends during our lab in science class. Unprovoked, he took a fistful of sand and threw it in my eyes, asking me that. I didn’t respond, blinked slowly and deliberately while I got the sand out.]
“Oh, it’s okay. You’re the fourth girl I asked [to the dance], so.” [June 15th, 2014; journal entry (red)]
“[one of several] know-it-all Spicer assholes” [summer 2014, maybe 2015?]
“You have those child-bearing hips” [2014; a man in his late 40s, one of my stepmom’s uncles. I was twelve.]
“Excuse me young lady, you are very sexy.” [June 25th, 2024; I was walking to the post office so I could drop off my rent check when a man in his 30s/40s walking his dog started to approach me and said this.]
“It’s like I’m drawn in just looking at you” [2024; a man in his 40s (?) unloading his groceries into his trunk next to us in the Aldi’s on Dexter Ave’s parking lot]
“You’re an absolute dream slut and a hard-working genius” [2023; a guy I talked to on Twitter– who is very sweet and direct in his communication, but some of the stuff he said after this made me feel odd and now I can’t remember him saying this without the other stuff coming back too.]
“Oh, a pretty red!” [2022; a man in his late 30s/early 40s (?), we both we standing in the middle aisle of The Ride public bus, he was getting off and I was finding a seat when we made eye contact and he said this]
“Amazonian woman for real” [2021; I caught some feelings for a gorgeous bisexual woman on accident in late summer 2021. We both were in destructive long-term relationships with our high school boyfriends and comparing notes on some of the things they were doing/saying to us. I was also an autistic idiot who didn’t catch on fully that this statement was flirting because, again, I’m an idiot and processing romantic/sexual things does NOT come naturally to me. The reason this goes in neutral is our relationship fell apart (mostly my fault, I moved to Ann Arbor for school, got overwhelmed, and my communication deficit kicked in. I ghosted, unintentionally, and regret it). Also I’m not a woman, I had started identifying as nonbinary at that time too so this statement made me feel odd and I wasn’t comfortable expressing that then.]
“Love you [dead name]. I wish I could be there too… I will see [your first apartment] soon. I am very, very proud of you.” [August 27th, 2021 11:37PM]
“Yeah, but you’re smart.” [2019; a “friend” of mine who was in a lot of similar situations as me growing up– so much so, in fact, that she dated my ex before I did (in middle school lmao). We were parallel lives: both in long-term relationships for most of our adolescent years with similar guys, both from volatile homes in and for which we felt a keen sense of responsibility, both had younger siblings we were-are super close to, both had experiences with sexual, gendered violence. But when talking about how to escape it all, she said this to me with a viciousness that caught me off guard. It was the first time I started to question whether she was actually a kind person or just using me at her convenience for advice she’d maybe, maybe not follow.]